State of Mind; August 15th, 2014.

People always make choices based of subconscious feelings. So many people have an agenda and make choices strategically as opposed to just off of true feeling. Why would ex’s feel the need to stalk one another even after they’ve been broken up for more than a year? There is actually no worse feeling than seeing a sub-post by somebody that you care about, and wondering if it could even possibly be about you anymore. Late night feels always keepin me up…

State of Mind; August 2nd, 2014.

Nothing in my life could possibly make me feel more shitty than I have been on a regular basis now. My anxiety has been acting up so badly I’m pretty sure I’m becoming a crazy person. All I ever want to do is lay in bed and watch Netflix not because I have no friends but because all I ever want is to be alone. You took so much from me and you beat me down so badly that I don’t even feel like I deserve a happy life anymore. It’s been almost a year and I still let you use and abuse me like it doesn’t even matter. You know how I feel about the choices you make, yet you decide to do something like that right in front of me? Did you really thing I wouldn’t burst out in tears and run from you? All I fucking want in my life is for you to fucking appreciate all of the shit I have put myself through and done for you. I would give anything and everything just for you to care like you did before all of these issues started. I was so in love with you, I still am so in love with you. You couldn’t care any less about me, but I couldn’t care any more about you.

State of Mind; July 14th, 2014.

i’ve always wondered what you were thinking about when you looked at me. I always wonder if your heart skips a beat when you first see me just like mine does when I first see you. I’ve always wondered what would happen if I actually voiced all of the thoughts that I have about us instead of keeping them to myself. Why is it that you still love me, why is it that you still care? I need to know your thoughts, I need to hear you tell me that you love me.

State of Mind; May 18th, 2014.

You were always the best person for me.

You always knew what to say when I was sad, & you always made me laugh.

I miss you. 

State of Mind; April 24th, 2014.

Do you ever wonder where we would be if we had done things differently? 

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and realize that you were dreaming of me?

Do you ever miss the way things used to be?

Do you ever wish we had never grown up?

Do you ever think how differently your life could be if you had made one single choice differently?

Do  you ever want to go back and choose the path less traveled? 

Do you ever wonder if you’re making the right choices now?

Do you ever want to know the future to see who is loyal and who is a liar?

Do you ever think about the good times we had?

Do you ever think of me?